Choice. Decision. Outcome.

A lot of things, in fact most things, come down to those three words. We have choices presented to us, we make a decision, and we have to live with the outcome. Good or bad.

• Choice
• Decision
• Outcome

I'm sure there's even some mathematical or probability equation that defines the order of the events. Something like:

(this is actually the equation for something that I don't know & is for illustration purposes only!)

As I am getting ready to go to Washington D.C. for The Nation's Triathlon, I am not feeling ready. Not one bit. Not even close. This is not a good feeling to have five days before a race. And so I've tried to figure out why I don't feel ready. I had a good base and I've done the training. Right??

Yeahhhh. About that. Maybe not so much. Something happened to me this season that drained all the Oomph! from me. The fire in my belly to train more, train harder, died somewhere along the way. Was it the personal issues I've had? Was it selling my house and moving? Was it the never-ending fundraising? Was it the stress of an increased work load when my coordinator was out for two months? Maybe it was all of that plus stuff in my sub-psyche that I don't even know about yet.

What I do know is that I slacked off on my cycling and tapered off on my running. About the only thing I did regularly was swim; and I'm certainly not gaining any race time there. When I jump in the Potomac River on September 13, I have no idea what to expect from body. I might do great or I might slug my through it praying for the end. Hell I might bonk.

I look back and I'm a little disappointed in myself. Maybe I could've carved out more time. Maybe I could've made less excuses. But I chose not to. I made a decision to put training off. And now the outcome just might be a poor race performance.

At this point, there's nothing I can do to make up for it. I'm at a certain fitness level and that's what I'll have to work with during the race. I don't know if I'll beat my personal best of 3:05 and I'm not even sure I'll beat my time of 3:17:11 from Nation's Triathlon last year. So now I have a new choice presented to me:

• Choice - Play it safe? Or push it to the limit?
• Decision - Balls out the whole way
• Outcome - Time will tell

Stay tuned ......

Buyer's Remorse

We've all felt it. That kind of sick feeling you get in your stomach after you've made a big purchase. Whether you bought something and now have to find a way to pay for it, or you saved up and wonder if you bought the right thing .... it's all the same result.

Buyer's Remorse: A feeling of guilt associated with doubts about the advisability of a purchase decision that one experiences after making an expensive purchase. (BusinessDictionary.com)

I haven't bought anything, per se. But I did make a commitment and will have to pay the piper. I have signed up for the ING Miami Marathon racing on January 31, 2010.

As soon as I clicked "register" I thought:

What have I done??

I have started and finished three full marathons and after the last one swore I'd never do another. I haven't been very fast - my best to date is a 5:45. That's a long time to be out there slogging through the miles. It's tough mentally and physically. And don't even get me started on the Saturday morning ice baths.

I should know better than to use the word "never".

I have a friend who has been very inspirational to me. She is a wonderful, dedicated, funny, determined.... a truly great person from the inside out. It also happens that her full marathon time was slower than mine. Until she ran NYC Marathon last year. She trained in a different manner, lost a considerable amount of weight, and absolutely CRUSHED her previous fastest time. She also killed mine. Which got my competitive side thinking ...... I can't let that happen .... maybe I have another marathon in me.



Since then, I have lost 45 pounds, competed in two Oly-distance triathlons (#3 is Sept 13), and run three half marathons. I've cut 30 minutes off my half marathon time so that now I can complete one in about two hours. Which means an under five hour marathon is possible. Because of this, a little tiny voice in the back of my head has been chanting, "do it. do it. do it. do it."


And it's that little devil that made me click on the Register! radio button. Even knowing what lies ahead (the training, the sore muscles, the blisters, the early Saturday mornings), my buyer's remorse lasted only a few moments.


But the satisfaction of running, completing and obtaining a PR at the ING Miami Marathon? Ahhh, yes. The satisfaction will last a lifetime.

How's the Weather?

I don't like to run when it's hot. I mean I reallyyyyy don't like to run when it's hot. This presents a problem from me since I live in Florida and it's almost always hot. And humid. I would rather run when it's 55 and overcast than when it's 80+ and sunny. I have lots of friends that think I'm crazy, but then that's nothing new.

A couple days ago, I was out on a short three mile run. It was 94 degrees, sunny, and I was sweating my ass off.

It's a good kind of sweat!

my friends say. I agree because it makes me feel good. When I'm done. But if I'm running farther than five miles, I start to complain.

I'm hot. Dude, it's hot. Holy cow it's hot!

So while out on my three mile jaunt I started to think about why I so detest running in the heat. I mean, I'm going to have to live with it unless I plan to move someplace like New York. Or Montana. Does anyone live there? (note: 2008 census says 967,440 wackos live in Montana)

I gave this much thought; at least as much thought as one can give during a 25 minute run. The following conclusions have been made:

1. I don't drink enough water. Anyone who knows me probably could've guessed that one. Therefore, I start every hot run already partially dehydrated. Throw in a good sweat and sun beating down, and it becomes a suck-fest.


2. Sports bras make me hot. The tight band around my rib cage bothers me and makes me feel like I'm over-heating. Honestly, I probably don't even need one anymore but modesty dictates I should wear it. Which is funny in itself because anyone who's ever trained for an endurance race knows all about peeing in the woods.


3. I've convinced myself I hate running in the heat. I am my own worst enemy. It's a mental thing that I need to get over. I know the power of thinking when it comes to this sport. If I tell myself I am uncomfortable, then of course I will be. If I tell myself it's not a big deal, then it won't be. End of story.


So if you see some chick running down the street with bouncing boobies, carrying water, and muttering, "It's not hot. It's not hot", that would be me. Give me a wave and shout of encouragement. Let me know it's a good kind of sweat.

To Blog or Not to Blog

That is the question. Often I've been asked if I blog my workouts. It usually goes like this:

Person: Do you blog your workouts?
Me: No.
Person: Really? You should!
Me: Why?
Person: I don't know. Just because that's what you do!

 Huh. Okay. Although I read a few other blogs, I've never entered into the arena myself. What's the point? After all, I will be the only one who reads it. I mean, why would anyone else care to read about my workouts? Or about "what's going on with me"? Do I really want to let the world know my deep dark personal business?

Plus there's the whole actual writing business. I've read some pretty eloquent, thought provoking, interesting blogs. Mine will probably end up more like:

Haven't blogged in forever. Nothing new. Ran a little. It's hot in Florida. The End.

Thrilling. I think I could win some awards with that. Actually, the more I think about it ... I've never told a short story in my life. So the blog will be more like this:

Haven't blogged in forever. I've been caught up doing ..... blah blah blah

And the blah blah blah will go on for five paragraphs when I could've said it in one sentence.

Then I decided, you know what? Screw it. I'm going to do it. I control what I say, when I say it, and who can read it. It will be interesting to read down the road to see my challenges, foibles, and state of mind. And to see how much (or even if!) I've grown as a person and an athlete.

So welcome to my very pink page! I may change that .... it's kind of annoying. Enjoy!